Teyla closed her eyes, twin tears slipping down her cheeks before she tilted her chin and opened her eyes again, studying the high ceiling of the hallway outside of the infirmary. Dr. Keller shouted from inside and nurses bustled to and fro, dashing in and out of the room. Sheppard, McKay and the Espens were in the hall with her, nervously glancing into the infirmary every once in a while, but Teyla didn’t dare look behind her. The shouts and bustling noises alone were too much for her to bear, so instead she focused her mind on what she could do to help.
Ronon’s heart had stopped beating even after being defibrillated twice. Dr. Keller and her team were doing all they could to release the hold the drug had on the Satedan’s body, but Teyla knew that without the identity of the herb in his system, their chances of administering an antidote in time were slim to none.
Ronon’s heart wasn’t beating. His body was dead. If it truly were his time to leave now, the least she could do was to make his passage from this life to the next easier by singing his death song.
So she gazed above and let the tears slip down her cheeks and she sang.
“In the starlight I wander
Longing to hold you.”
The others looked to her sudden song, listening with melancholy eyes.
“In the stars’ eyes I feel you
Watching me always.
Your soul and my heart,
They speak to each other.
Your song in my heart
Will go on forever.”
Her lower lip quivered as she finished the song, closing her eyes. She felt a weight on her shoulder, then a squeeze, and knew by instinct that it was Sheppard’s hand. He didn’t remove it as they waited for what felt like hours.
Someone cleared their throat. Teyla and Sheppard looked up to see Keller standing meekly before them. She offered a small smile in greeting then her face slipped back into its previous apologetic look. “We’ve managed to stabilize him for the time being.”
Both Teyla and Sheppard’s shoulders sagged in relief and the Espens rose.
“But...” Keller continued, halting with apprehension. “His body’s still struggling to cope with the drug they used.”
Sheppard furrowed his brow. “Well, is he gonna be okay or not?”
“At this point, I don’t know. The bad news is that I haven’t been able to come up with an antidote yet. But the good news is that the drug seems to be being absorbed. The last scan shows less of it than when he first arrived.”
Teyla nodded, the movement stiff. “May we see him?”
Keller beckoned them in. “Sure, he’s just... not conscious.”
The five shuffled into the room, followed by the doctor. Teyla let out a breath as she saw Ronon lying in the hospital bed, a tube down his throat, taped to his mouth to help him breathe and wires and more tubing attached to his arms and chest. Though she knew the technology was keeping him alive, she loathed its presence.
Sheppard bit the inside of his lip and took one of Ronon’s hands. “You hang in there, buddy, you hear me?”
Liliana picked up Bo so that she could see her wounded friend. She furrowed her brow at the tube in his mouth. “What is that, Momma?”
“I think it’s to help him breathe, sweet pea.”
Keller smiled at the little girl. “I know it looks scary but it’s actually helping him.”
Bo nodded, returning her attention to Ronon. He was pale and looked so very tired. No one spoke, and Bo didn’t like that the machines were louder than the people.
Teyla’s eyes were stinging. She let out a shuddering sigh and closed her eyes, letting the tired burn diffuse into relaxation. She should stop reading for the night. She should do some stretches to relieve the cramps and aches in her muscles from sitting in a chair all day. She should start regularly exercising again... yet every time she resolved to go for a run or visit the gym, the fear that Ronon would either slip away or wake up while she was gone returned. She’d argued with herself like this for nearly a month.
She turned the page in her copy of Treasure Island then began reading aloud once more. Ronon lay beside her, just as motionless as he had been when they brought him to the infirmary after rescuing him from Rashid’s fight ring. The breathing tube had been removed after his body became stable once more and he now appeared to be in a deep sleep. His face and eyes were still and peaceful, unlike other coma patients that she’d seen over her life. After the first week of his stillness, Dr. Keller began to lose confidence in his ever waking up again. His body was healing and wasting away at the same time. Teyla felt caught in limbo with him.
And so she read to him, every day, hoping that he could hear her voice, that he would know he was not alone... that tales of adventure might wake up his wounded mind. Yet he did not stir, and the scans showed no improvement in his brain activity. Teyla had already read herself hoarse with The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo, so she thought she’d take up Sheppard’s third suggestion and give pirates a try. There was no change, not that she expected Ronon to wake up from a sudden interest in buried treasure, and she was beginning to agonize over the gnawing fear that she would soon have to give in to acceptance once the book was finished, and read to him no more.
Another week crept past. Keller smiled as she finished binding the ankle of a biologist who had missed the “Caution: Wet Floor” sign and had slipped in the hallways. “All set. Remember to take your Ibuprofen on the clock and you should be walking again in no time.”
The woman sighed and nodded. “So much for hiking on Saturday...”
Keller smiled again and patted her shoulder. “Just keep it elevated as much as you can to get the swelling down. Maybe next Saturday.” She winked as the woman slid off the bed and grabbed her crutches.
“Thank you, Dr. Keller.”
“Of course.”
Keller began to clean up the extra supplies as the woman left. She glanced across the room as she did so. Her shoulders slumped. Teyla was asleep, her head and arms resting on Ronon’s chest.
Keller stepped over to the other woman, glancing at the stack of finished books on the bedside table, the most recent appearing to be Treasure Island. She briefly looked to her patient, noting the familiar sight of his still, waning form, before looking back to Teyla. She gently shook the Athosian’s shoulder. “Hey.”
Teyla sucked in a lungful of air, straightening, reaching up to smooth her hair off her cheek. “Oh, I was asleep...”
Keller smiled. “You should go back to your quarters. You’ll be more comfortable.”
Teyla momentarily closed her eyes. “Yes.” She smiled in thanks.
Keller returned the smile and squeezed the Athosian’s shoulder before stepping back over to the other bed across the room, finishing putting away the supplies.
Teyla closed her eyes and arched her back in a stretch for a moment then looked back to Ronon with a sigh. She slipped her hand into his and gave it a squeeze before smiling and rising, leaning over to kiss his forehead. “Sweet dreams, my love.”
She glanced behind her for anything she may have forgotten, then sucked in a startled gasp of air when she felt two of Ronon’s fingers curl in her hand. She looked back to him, furrowing her brow. She held her hand very still, her fingers lightly cupping his, beginning to think she must have imagined the featherlight tug. She placed her other hand on top of his in her palm and studied his face. “...Ronon?”
His expression was as sunken and serene as it had been for weeks. There was no change. His hand must have slipped in hers. Teyla sighed and lowered his hand back down to the sheets, squeezing it one last time, waiting for a response. Nothing. She let go and tucked her hair back behind her ears, mentally scolding herself for having gotten her hopes up for the thousandth time, when the sheets shadowed. She blinked and looked again. Small wrinkles caught the light, creating shadowed furrows. Small wrinkles that were not there a heartbeat before. Ronon’s fingers had tugged on the sheets.
Teyla dropped to her knees and studied the fabric and his hand, her eyes rapt for any movement. Then his ring finger twitched, creating another crease in the sheets. The small wrinkles in the white fabric might as well have been as large as sand dunes to Teyla.
People were moving around him, but he was too tired to care. Voices were calling out his name, asking him questions. He could hear them, but he could only hold on to what they said for a few fleeting moments before the meaning of their words sifted away on a sigh from his tired mind. He needed the escape; he needed to let himself slip back into that comfortable void of thoughtlessness. But something kept tugging on his senses, yanking him back from the brink of a quiet rest.
The questions had stopped. The shifting light that he knew was movement around him had stilled. He had every reason to find the solitude to sleep again... every reason except for one. A voice lulled him towards the light of wakefulness. A touch reminded him of life.
“Now that the time has come
Soon gone is the day
There upon some distant shore
You'll hear me say
Long as the day in the summer time
Deep as the wine dark sea
I'll keep your heart with mine.
Till you come to me...”
Teyla sang, combing her fingers through his hair. His shoulder twitched, as it had moments before, and she smiled at the sign of wakefulness, continuing her song.
“There like a bird I'd fly
High through the air
Reaching for the sun's full rays
Only to find you there
And in the night when our dreams are still
Or when the wind flows free
I'll keep your heart with mine
Till you come to me.”
She paused in her song, letting out a gasping grin as she saw the first pale green slits of his eyes as they opened, sleepy and cat-like in their lethargy. She felt her throat tauten as her eyes stung with tears. She continued her song.
“Now that the time has come
Soon gone is the day
There upon some distant shore
You'll hear me say
Long as the day in the summer time
Deep as the wine dark sea
I'll keep your heart with mine.
Till you come to me.”
Teyla grinned, tears slipping down her cheeks, as she gazed into Ronon’s waking eyes, flickering with a light of recognition as he gazed back at her. She thought her heart might break when his mouth formed a feeble smile, his eyes scrunching up a little. She raked her fingers through his hair above his ear, sniffling so that she could speak. “Ronon... do you know me?”
Of course. Of course I know you. Ronon struggled to use his voice, to respond to assuage the worry creeping into her eyes as she saw the muscles in his throat flex and relax voicelessly. Yet no sound came.
She ran her fingers through his hair again, the longing in his eyes managing to answer for him. She smiled again, leaning forward to kiss his forehead, and he could feel the moisture from her tears kiss his skin. “It is all right,” she quietly cooed. She cupped his cheek and pressed her nose against his, closing her eyes. “It is all right... we have each other again.”
Though he could not yet master his voice to speak, his steady, warm breath on her neck was all Teyla needed to shut out the rest of the world, hearing only their beating hearts.
Keller soon gave up on her questioning after she belatedly realized that Teyla couldn’t hear her. The blonde smiled and stepped back, giving the two more time in peace.
“How’s your number one patient doing?” Sheppard asked with a smile as he stepped into the infirmary.
Keller looked up at him from the chart she was filling out. She glanced over her shoulder towards Ronon’s bed. “Why don’t you see for yourself?”
“I think I’ll do that.” He tossed the small, wrapped gift in his hands and strolled around the corner to Ronon’s bed.
The Satedan was awake and looked pleasantly tired, listening to the Espens catch him up on the gossip from their household. Teyla was seated by his side, holding his hand. Sheppard smirked at the scene. A small, fake Christmas tree had been set up on the end table by Ronon’s bed. Briana fingered a shiny bauble ornament before returning her attention to Isabeau, correcting something her younger sister said.
Sheppard stepped over with a smile. “Looks like a party’s started without me.”
“Eh,” Ronon grunted with a smirk, a light in his eyes. “Who needs you anyway, Sheppard?”
Sheppard chuckled and set his package down beneath the tree, beside one already left by Rodney. Teyla smiled in silent thanks for the gift.
Curtis observed the exchange. “Well, if I’d have known you folks also celebrated Wintertide, I would’ve brought something.”
“It’s just an excuse to give the big guy presents,” Sheppard responded. He winked at Ronon and lightly punched his shoulder. “How ya doing?”
Ronon cleared his throat a little. “Good.”
“He ate everything on his tray at lunch,” Teyla said, giving Ronon a playful look.
Liliana snorted. “I can’t believe that’s an accomplishment. He ate enough for two when he was with us.”
“Hey,” the Satedan croaked. “If you hadn’t worked me like a slave, I wouldn’t’ve been so hungry.”
“Speaking of which,” Curtis said, raising his brows. “When you think you’ll be back on your feet? I’m hurting out there without you. I got real spoiled having you around to help out.”
“Curtis,” Ronon sighed with a small smile. He opened his mouth to continue but Curtis cut him off.
“I know, I know. You can’t even walk yet. I was just teasing you.”
“Actually, I was gonna say that you’ve always been a lazy bastard, but that too.”
Liliana gasped and playfully swatted him as they all laughed. Teyla shook her head in mock incredulity, so delighted to see such life and spirit ever returning to Ronon’s eyes and voice.
Bo was studying the small tree and swiveled her head to look at the Air Force colonel. “Why did you put that tree there? Teyla and Ronon said you’d know.”
Sheppard glanced at the couple then looked back to Isabeau. “Uh... it’s a part of our holiday called... Christmas.”
“What’s Christmas?”
Sheppard studied the child for a moment then glanced around to see if Keller was anywhere nearby to help him out. No native earthlings were in sight. He looked back to Isabeau and noticed that the eyes of all the other aliens were upon him as well. “It’s a day when we celebrate the birth of a very special baby, named Jesus, who grew up to... help a lot of people.”
“Oh,” Bo said. “So it’s a birthday.”
“Um, not exactly... he wasn’t really born on Christmas. We just kind of... pretend he was so that we can celebrate it then.”
Teyla had her brow furrowed. Ronon looked painfully confused and piped up in his slightly scratchy voice “...Why not just celebrate it on his actual birthday?”
“Because December 25th was already a big holiday and... you know how it is. People get used to partying at a certain time and you don’t wanna ruin their fun by changing everything.”
“So... instead you just... fake it?” Ronon still sounded confused.
Sheppard sighed. “Look, this was a long time ago, I’m not entirely sure how it all happened.”
Bo pointed to the tree. “And he liked trees?”
“I don’t know,” Sheppard struggled on. “He probably did. I don’t know how many trees were around where he lived... it was kinda the desert...”
“The evergreen tree is a symbol of everlasting life,” Teyla chimed in, sparing Sheppard his ignorance. “Many other trees lose their leaves in the winter, however the evergreen tree does not. It remains green. Ancient peoples of earth adorned such trees with symbols of light to welcome the longer days that would grow after the solstice – the return of light, from what I understand. So the tree is brought into the home to celebrate the process of rebirth,” she paused as she looked to Sheppard. “Is that not correct, John?”
Sheppard blinked and cleared his throat. “Yeah... where’d you learn all that, Teyla?”
“She’s a genius. She knows everything,” Ronon cut in.
Teyla gave him a playful look then returned her attention to Sheppard. “I was confused when I spent my first winter here – Dr. Weir loaned me a book on the history.”
Sheppard nodded. “...I need to read that.”
Curtis chuckled and patted Sheppard on the back.
“Okay,” Keller’s teacher-like voice cut through the merriment. “That’s enough excitement for one day.”
Liliana leaned over to kiss Ronon’s cheek. “You’re welcome to come over as soon as you feel up to it, sweetie.”
“Yeah!” Bo enthused. “Sniffer really misses you, too.”
“She does wait on the front porch a lot,” Brianna added, looking pensive.
Ronon raised his brows. “I’ll have to surprise her one of these days.”
Curtis playfully bopped the Satedan’s foot. “You do that.”
Ronon smiled and hugged the family goodbye as they shuffled out. Sheppard rested a hand on Liliana’s back and told her that he’d be happy to fly them back home. “Seeya soon,” he called to Ronon and Teyla as he exited.
Keller raised her brows as the group filed past then looked back to Ronon. “Well aren’t you just Mr. Popular?”
Ronon had a wistful smile one his face. “They’re good people... the best people.”
Keller smiled. “I’ll bring you your dinner in an hour.” She winked at Teyla then headed back to her office.
Ronon sighed heavily and Teyla could tell how much a simple visit with loved ones took out of him. She watched him study the ceiling, his eyes roving with restlessness. “I know it is frustrating, Ronon, but you will soon be back to yourself.”
“Yeah...” he sighed. He looked back to her face and his eyes slowly began to smile at her before he bashfully blinked away.
She furrowed her brow and cocked her head. “What?”
“I don’t know...” He picked at the railing of the bed instead of looking at her.
Teyla smirked and poked his shoulder. “You most certainly do.”
He chuckled a little and looked back to her, his cheeks a little flushed. Teyla couldn’t help but grin. “I don’t know...” he continued, sounding as guilty as a child who had broken something and feigned innocence.
“All right. If you do not want to tell me, then I suppose I should not want to hear.” She let go of his hand and looked away from him with a smug expression then grabbed The Hobbit and pretended to be reading it.
Ronon laughed quietly and reached out his hand to her, yet the Athosian continued to playfully ignore him.
“Teyla.”
She turned a page, cocking her head in mock interest in the words on the page.
He tried whining out her name as if she were his mother. “Teylaaaaaa.”
She shot him an annoyed look over the top of her book.
Ronon smiled. “I love you.”
Teyla shook her head with a laugh, her own cheeks coloring.
Ronon laughed as well. “You’re blushing.”
Teyla looked back to him, her face and voice indignant. “I am not.”
“Oh, yes you are.”
“Ronon Dex – ”
“Are you gonna blush every time I say ‘I love you’?”
She attempted to fix him with a stern, chastising look but only managed a goofy glare, blushing more. The further tint to her cheeks only made him laugh until he was interrupted by coughs. Teyla then hastily reached for a water glass and handed it to him.
“Thank you.”
She nodded and watched him drink, then took the cup from him and set it aside. “You should rest.”
He nodded, scooting down further in the bed to get more comfortable.
Teyla reached over and helped arrange the blankets to tuck him in. “Are you comfortable?”
“Yeah. Thank you, Teyla, for all your help.”
She smiled and kissed his forehead before resuming her seat beside his bed.
He watched her pick up her copy of The Hobbit again. “You don’t have to stay down here.”
Her eyes locked onto his. “There is nowhere else I would rather be, Ronon.”
Her words trickled through him like warm water and his eyes shone with an adoring light as he studied her for several long heartbeats. “You wanna know what I was thinking earlier?”
Teyla smiled. “Only if you want me to.”
“I was thinking about how much quicker I’ll heal with you here to help me. Just seeing your eyes remind me to always do the best that I can.”
Her heart constricted and she set the book aside, climbing into the bed with him to lie on one hip, slipping an arm under his neck and shoulders and tucking his curls back behind his ear with her other hand. “I am not going anywhere, Ronon.” She leaned down so that the tip of her nose brushed against his. “My heart is right here.”
He smiled and tilted his chin enough to kiss her lips for a moment, draping an arm on her hip. He could feel her breath against his forehead as he nestled his cheek against her shoulder, sighing contentedly, his body and heart warming from her nearness.
Branded Heart
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